Fine. A challenge. Why I should get a US copy. In English, for once, so the English can understand. OK, maybe American, but still.

I should get a signed, personalized copy because I live over 4,000 miles away from you and thus cannot be inconvenienced to stop off and regale you with my thoughts on Gene Wolfe’s works in terza rima. Only fair that a copy of the finished book be mailed to me.

Furthermore, it should be personalized and quotes from Led Zep songs and perhaps C.L. Moore could be included because I know of much that you enjoy outside of composing ditties in your sleep.

Finally, there needs to be a bit of a threat. If a copy is not forthcoming, all of the gray squirrels will band together and start chewing on the plants in your garden until I am appeased.

How’s that for compelling reasons?

Hi Mark, I would like a copy of Nights of Villjamur to help me return to own time. I was left behind by my brethren on a jaunt to the late twentieth century. Unfortunately, due to a miscount after leaving Pizza Hut, I was forgotten about and left behind in the toilets (I told them we should have paired up in to buddies). I have been stuck here ever since. I need your book to place a message in and leave it in a pre-arranged location. When they receive this message they will then know to come back and find me. It has to be your book as we agreed on that before departing – Nights of Villjamur is an important cornerstone for our society. Obviously the wait for you to write and publish your novel has been excruciating, but I have taken comfort in your excellent twenty-first century facilities and foodstuffs. Could you please write – “To the brethren of Sean: he’s here! Yours, Mark Charan Newton”

Right.

This is quite simple, really. I work as a clerk in a very tiny bookstore specializing in fantasy/sci-fi books. Note the word “tiny”. Our coffee-machine is placed on the toilet as that’s the only free spot. Seriously.

I get all my books from my job though we seldom get pretty versions like the ones you’re so temptingly dangling in front of my nose. Especially not signed. NEVER signed.

And lets be honest, the odds of you arriving to the far north of Norway to sign books…it’s probably not very big, is it?

Did I also mention that I had to get my copy of Nights of Villjamur -used-? Yep. I did. We sold out really fast, had trouble getting more sent over, got fewer than we ordered and there was no end to the mess. My copy looks like it was chewed on by a crazed racoon and more importantly: it does not at ALL look nice when it stands side-by-side with City of Ruin.

Hopefully this heartbreaking story of a girl with an obsession for matching and pretty editions of books, who is drinking coffee made in a BATHROOM and sells your (and others, too!) books for a living will work.

I think that I should have a copy of your pretty-state-side books because I have been without coffee, cheese and red meat, eating rabbit food style salads every day, and only vegan chocolate for three weeks – and all of this just in the hope that someone would give me a free book for it.
(Am I pulling the heartstrings yet?)
VC x

I have to give this a try- I mean, I’ve been wanting this books since I saw the review @ Un:Bound, and I live in NY, so I have not been able to get a copy…

Why should I get it? First because I am me, what other reason should there be? Worry not, I am coming up with more-
Also… becauseeeee if zombies do exist and I am to become one, I want to do so after reading this book, really… (Did you say something about weird why’s?
Another thing… I want to see if you are safe from Pink-curly hair- and sparkly WerePonies! =) *snort* yeah… that is =)

And what do I want for what I want when you send it to me after I win?

-To Ale (In her Den of Sin),
(Whatever message you want to write)
For being so cute, adorable, and my biggest fan (even without reading the book yet)
From The Diva to be,
Mark (your signature =P

What do you think?

LOL- But really, I am dying to read this book- and so excited that it is coming out soon in the US! *grin*

Hey Mark.

Why should I get a copy? Well, for one, it would go a long way to rounding out my collection (which will be growing as of next month, when CoR and NoV arrive in SA)of your work (still going to track down a copy of The Reef, had no idea it took place in the same world, albeit much, much earlier); second reason, I think the only other author that has received as much coverage on the blog is Peter V Brett (looking forward to your review of his work, and vice versa); three, you did hold a page saying that you love my blog ; fourth, I think I’m the only person who has ever introduced myself to you TWICE, ; and lastly, not only am I thousands of miles from the UK, but I’m thousands of miles from the US, too, so I’d probably be the only South African who would have a copy of the US Nights of Villjamur.

Hope that all made you chuckle, at least.

I gave it “10/10″ in my review after reading just an electronic copy. Now, imagine the score if I get a signed copy in my hands.

I deserve a copy, because I will treat the book like a holy relic. I will read it and cherish it and when the time comes for review, it will receive the best possible treatment ever. It will be segemented and serialized.

Who doesn’t want that coverage, eh?

I could say that I deserve your book which I’ll review on my blog which gets ten whole visits per week.

Instead, I’ll go with the truth. My mother’s maiden name is Villjamur. Her mother, my grandmother, is now 127 years old and ever since I was 2 weeks old I told her I was going to be a writer, and that I’d publish a book with her as the main character. I can’t do this now, since you went and stole her name for a fictional city… but, if you send me this copy of which you speak, I can tell her it’s my very own book. She can only read through a magnifying glass now, and never more than one word a time, so she won’t realize that it’s not my book. Also, as she has arrived at such a rarefied age, we fear she may not make it until the release of your book here in the US at the end of the month. Please, consider this plea not for me, but for the sake of mamamutti Vanoosi Villjamur.

Ready for the guilt? I live in Saigon and a couple of weeks ago I had a motorbike accident: I ripped a chunk out of my knee – you could see right down through layers of flesh to the bone, it was disgusting – which required surgery so now I can’t really walk; I broke my collar bone which means my right arm has to be immobilised for a month in a huge arm immobiliser harness that is far too hot for this climate and my collar bone (oh, I regret not appreciating how pretty collar bones can be back when I had a nice straight pair) has healed crookedly with a big lump in the middle that isn’t at all attractive. Also I cracked a rib but I don’t have gory details for that one, it just hurts like hell.

I’m from Bradford so you shouldn’t feel too sorry for me being stuck with serious injuries in a developing country. I’ve been pretty au fait with hospitals, surgeries, needles, drains etc. since I had kidney failure a few years ago so I didn’t expect to miss my mum or anything. In fact, since coming out of hospital, I do miss my mum because mums, unlike well-meaning but socially far too active housemates, don’t get bored running round after you and forget to bring you food. It’s lunchtime; I’m hungry; I’m eating dry corn flakes out of the box.

That all this has no connection or relevance to you, your book, impending ice ages or Russell Brand with a sword is OK. It’s entirely acceptable for me to expect people I don’t know on the other side of the planet to feel my pain. I’m stuck in bed watching a Grey’s Anatomy boxset even though I discovered about a fifth of the way into the first episode that I don’t really like Grey’s Anatomy and reading old, free stuff on my ereader which I dislike (the ereader that is) to the point of feeling a bit of my soul die every time I turn a ‘page’. It’s better than having nothing to read, which is pretty much the alternative in Vietnam, but it’s so aesthetically unpleasing I would shamelessly try and guilt almost anybody out of a real physical copy of an actual book that I’d actually want to read. Did I mention it’s my birthday in two weeks?

Nat

P.S. I had to laboriously type this whole thing with just my left hand.
P.P.S. I am not left-handed.

I think I should get a copy because it will match the colour of my walls nicely.

Just my quick two-cents here: DJ Morel and Arief for copies .

I live at the end of the earth (ie Australia) where my people suffer from coffee-induced hallucinations that we live in a land under the despot of a ruler, the Sun, and are subject to its whims. In the short and infrequent months of torrid rain and almost-sub-zero temperatures, sent by the Sun’s mortal enemy, Winter, we must seek refuge in air-conditioned houses (where, upon stepping outside, we discover it’s warmer outside than it is inside).

To strike a balance between these opposing forces, or merely to block them out, I would love a copy of your book.