11Dec

Gay Marriage Reminder

Given all the utter nonsense being spouted about gay marriage by certain (right-of-centre) politicians, I thought it would be an appropriate moment to remind people of the words of Christ Kluwe, Minnesota Vikings punter, who summed everything up better than anyone else, and who won the Internet many months ago with this:

“This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? “Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!” Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

“I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?”

If you haven’t read that in full, you really should.

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About Mark Newton

Born in 1981, live in the UK. I write about strange things.

One comment

  1. Ah! But asking “why?” requires thinking and reasoning and questioning and doubting… all the things that are discouraged in homophobic bronze-age-born religions. There’s no “why?” in those religions. God’s messengers say “jump” and the flock asks “how high?”.

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