Get More Fantasy In Your Life

Dear struggling writers. What’s the best way of getting your fantasy novel published? Well, the obvious route would be to spend several years pouting up and down catwalks and generally selling your soul to the fashion and media gods. Just like Tyra Banks did.

I’m so EXCITED!! I said I was going to do it, and here it is! It’s for all the girls and guys who want a lot more FANTASY in their lives… and some fierceness and magic, romance and mystery, crazy and wild adventures, and yeah, some danger too. It’s my novel called Modelland (pronounced “Model Land”) that takes you to a fantastical place you’ve never seen, or heard about, or read about before… Where dreams come true and life can change in the blink of a smoky eye. 😉

I think Modelland is going to really touch the dreamer in all of us, whether you’re aged anywhere from 8 to 80. (Please don’t be mad if you’re 7 or 81, but “eight to eighty” sounds better!)

Isn’t that sweet. I liked the way she had to stress the pronunciation of Modelland. (It’s Model and Land, get it?)

Ever since I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to pick up a new book and see what worlds the writers had created for me. I especially loved books with strong girls and women – you know, girls with guts, smarts and attitude – and then one day it came to me… MODELLAND!

You know, girls, because “Intoxibellas are drop-dead beautiful, kick-butt fierce and, yeah, maybe they have some powers too.”

I, for one, can’t wait for the fan fiction.

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About Mark Newton

Born in 1981, live in the UK. I write about strange things.


  1. I still think they should have a “face off” with a competing kingdom/school of magical modeling.

    “Intoxibellas” vs. “Anorexibellas” – The thinnest bitch left standing wins. My money is on the drunks.


  2. Watch out Mark, if you brand female celebrities as talentless writers you get called a misogynist (hey look, Amis and I actually do agree on something).

  3. Why, I’ve not once commented on the quality of her writing. I’m merely suggesting the best short-cuts in the world of publishing are often right in front of us. Don’t scribble away in your attic rooms until dawn – get out there on that catwalk like Tyra did!

  4. you remember that she’s a celeb and going to sell shed loads and publishing is a business don’t you? Art doesn’t always pay those bills??

  5. Woah, my sarcasm machine just ‘sploided. 😀

  6. Dear Gav, have I not been sarcastic enough yet? I know exactly how the industry works – my only surprise is how long it’s taken for this sort of thing to happen. It’s all about the author branding…

    Paul – my pleasure!

  7. To be fair, she’s not getting published because she’s a model – she’s getting published because she’s doing it herself through her own company, Bankable Books. From Vanity Fair to Vanity Publishing.

  8. Lee – I thought this is in conjunction with an imprint of Random House. Is it some kind of joint business venture?

  9. Ooh, yes – you’re right – that’ll teach me just to read the highlighted bits, and not the entire text!

  10. I was just grounding you 😉 and it’s fracking depressing that people will read it because it’s a Tyra Banks book rather than a good one 🙁

  11. Just when you thought ‘Urban Fantasy’ was the worst thing ever…

  12. I hate to inform Tyra that Modelland is in fact pronounced: Moday la land. It’s a French fashion term (makes sense, yes?). She’s just missing the accent on the e… but as an 82 year old I guess the book isn’t intended for me anyway.

  13. Erm, you know the writer of this is extremely unlikely to be Tyra Banks, right?

  14. I know. I’m hoping to ghost the second through nine books of the thirteen planned in the series.

    Opps. Sorry Tyra. Never mind the first comment. I’m down with adventure and magic, and all that jazz. I’ll pronounce Modelland however you want and I’m ready to have my life changed by the blink of a smokin’ hot eye. Call me. Really.


  15. I have this mental image now of George R.R. Martin, Terry Goodkind, and Ursula Le Guin sashaying down the walkways, pouting and promoting their new novels while showing a bit of skin. Good thing this damn lung infection has already cost me my appetite. Did this mental image just cost you yours? 😛

  16. So basically you’re saying that with my 1m55 I’m screwed, right?

    Great. That’s just great. Now I need to go and kill a character. Violently.

  17. You’re gonna be so gutted when she beats you to the Hugo!

  18. “Intoxibellas are drop-dead beautiful, kick-butt fierce and, yeah, maybe they have some powers too.”

    They’re also Mary Sues, by the sound of it.

  19. I bet that she will Smize from the pages and work it in the bookstores. I like Tyra, but damn that woman should not be messing with literature. I wonder, if she wins the Hugo, though? Hahahha.

  20. Does not compete with any books currently on the shelves whatsoever, particularly fantasy books. I would guess that Tyra’s intended audience may well be non-readers, or only occasional readers. Which is not a bad thing, right?

  21. I can understand an unpublished fantasy author finding this pretty galling, but I imagine the result will be that, if anything, she brings readers into the genre. I doubt she’s taking readership away from other fantasy authors. So after my initial cringe reaction, I’ve given myself a good talking to and I shall await the reviews with interest. And possibly keep a slot free in my diary to dash off a clone or a parody, in case it does *really* well…

  22. It’s an interesting theory, that she’ll bring new readers into the genre, and one I’d love to subscribe to.

    It’s possible. But let’s face it – where is this book likely to be stocked? Supermarkets etc., appealing to folk who know who she is from the telly box. Where are they going to go next? Probably back to TV. This is something aimed at the vast swathe of casual readers – a serious market if you can get into it – but they’re the kind that buy a few books a year at the most, and most of those from… supermarkets.

    But yeah, I’d like to have faith that it might result in one or two more sales for the genre, but the way this will be marketed, I highly doubt it.

    Still, at least it might fund publishers to pump into new authors.

  23. “Still, at least it might fund publishers to pump into new authors.”

    Or, god forbid, convince them further that celebrity bullshit (already saturating publishing) is where the $$$ lies

  24. It won’t fund anybody else; the publisher is her own Bankable, Inc.

  25. To be honest, Alex, that’s always been the case. Brooks, Jordan et al have always bankrolled the artier stuff.

    Larry, this is published in conjunction with Random House US, which means they’ll get the money. (Which means, ahem, authors like me. 🙂 )