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The Minority Report in the UK

PreCrime: a system, in Philip K. Dick’s “The Minority Report”, whereby criminals are identified by precogs before they would have committed any actual crime.

Science fiction has become reality. The British Police appear to have discovered a system of precognition, and this became apparent during the recent royal wedding.

But wait, the news becomes even more science fictional: zombies were also arrested at the scene, presumably for crimes about to be committed beyond the grave? Pre-necro-cogs? And fear not, market gardeners, for precogs will save you too from the ills of precrime. There will be no illegitimate vegetables in our future.

For those of you unaware, precognition appears to be an essential part of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994, under Section 60; though it is not known whether the precogs behind this are indeed “hydrocephalic idiot[s]”. I ask: is this the source of UK Police intelligence?

Perhaps this would be a good thing, despite the morals, if the precogs’ reports turned out to be correct. However, at current levels of technology, it seems there are still a few inefficiencies in the system. This is not Orwellian; this is Dickish.

By Mark Newton

Born in 1981, live in the UK. I write about strange things.

7 replies on “The Minority Report in the UK”

The government can caually use catch-22 logic on us. It’s impossible to disprove unless they allow something bad to happen that they predicted.

I’m waiting for them to branch out and define AV as alternate-verse voting in which we also have to take into account what other universes decided to vote. Somewhere out there, there may be a BNP voting Mark Charan Newton…

I’d gladly do so with some of that Bruichladdich infinity 🙂
Will there be a post on the referendum? I’m sure i’m not the only one frustrated by the concept and how it’s been treated.

I’m not sure really – there’s not a huge amount to say, other than the fact that it’s been the dirtiest campaign for a long time; that it has never been more obvious how the amount of money a party has can control what people think or feel; or that I was rather naive to think that people couldn’t tell outrageous lies in the UK political system and get away with it.

Definitely naivete. That or they use your money to make you feel surprised it’s hapening each time. I’m pretty pissed at how we’ve been given the illusion of choice; most people I know who wanted a voting reform were after PR and the referendum has been rigged in that PR isn’t even a choice. While the tories are “anti-AV” they still know they could live with it over PR (on the off-chance it gets through).
I have hated the fact that the nay-sayers have basically been saying “you’re too stupid to handle AV”.

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